Piracy is WRONG!

WRONG, WRONG, WRONG!!!

'Da Vinci' Blows

Time to place your bets on the first critic to use that headline (and get it past the editors)...

Bart the Scientologist

Ay caramba:

Bart Simpson has something in common with Tom Cruise — he loves Scientology. Or at least, the woman who does Bart’s voice does. “Before Scientology I had one dream of making a living from doing voice-overs for animation,” said Nancy Cartwright, the voice of the animated character, who’s in Australia doing a one-woman show. “After I became a Scientologist my abilities expanded so far and above what I originally dreamed that I’ve amazed even myself.”

Breaking News: Lindsay Lohan music career a fraud

Shocker... Next you'll tell me that Eddie Murphy isn't a big music star...

EXCLUSIVE - Must credit Time for Timer!!!

Tomorrow, Sir Jumps-a-Lot will show pictures of Suri, the Most Important Baby Ever on teevee. However, we have obtained one of these photos one day early...

The robots are coming to get you

Since it appears that it's just a matter of time before robots render our species extinct (the only debate is whether we'll be used as fuel - or is it too late? Is this all the Matrix? Blew your mind, didn't I?), I thought I'd pay tribute to one of the best SNL fake ads of all time (watch quick before NBC's possibly robotic lawyers take it down!)...

Xenu sucks, yo

The Daily Sheen

That's what this blog has become apparently, so we'll just accept it for now:

In yet another setback to his character defense, and possibly in a death throe to his family show career, Charlie Sheen is now facing possible charges in a wrongful death suit being contemplated by a dead porn star's mother.

Rumor has it that Donna Jones, mother of the now-dead Penthouse Pet and aspiring porn star Chloe Jones, is considering filing the suit against Sheen because she believes his influence on the unfortunate starlet may have led her to commit suicide, or worse.

Clearing the air

David Spade says he's sorry...

Cinco de Cruiso

As you know, today is a beloved day which many people look forward to all year... that's right, it's the new Tom Cruise movie! For those of you going to see it, here's an idea: Cut out the middle man and give $10 to the Church of Scientology!

BREAKING NEWS: Comedian Makes Fun of President in Front of President at Correspondents Dinner

We are getting reports that a comedian apparently poked fun at the President of the United States of America while he was in the room at something called a White House Correspondents Dinner. Unconfirmed reports say that this has never happened before and it is Big Important News that is being buried...

Developing...