"Wild Thing" is (allegedly) the next Tom (...or OJ?)

No wonder one was asked to play a parody of the other years ago... they seem to have that whole "crazy" thing in common:

In court papers, Richards accuses the prime-time TV star of having a prime time with prostitutes, drugs, gambling and harassment that are worthy of at least "Two and a Half Men."

Allegedly hooked on Xanax, Norco and Ativan, Sheen is accused of physical menacing, threatening Richards' life and safety, watching what appeared to be underage porn (of girls and boys), regularly sleeping with prostitutes, gambling away hundreds of thousands of dollars, mood swings and paranoid acts.

His idea of a romantic chat? Try this excerpt from one of six voice messages he allegedly left Richards one day: "I hope you f— rot in hell. So f— you. I hope I never f— talk to you again, you f— c—. F— you. You're a coward and a liar and a f— n— all right? So f— you." [Read the uncensored versions here. - Ed.]

It gets worse:

She reveals, "Respondent's (Sheen) behavior was totally irrational. The Respondent became paranoid.

"Respondent began to obsess about vaccines being poisonous, about 911 (sic) being a conspiracy, purchasing gas masks on the Internet, and putting guns under our coffee table so that they would be within reach if someone broke into our house.

"Respondent also displayed what I can only describe as an abnormal fascination with Nicole Simpson's death and showed my mother and I her autopsy photographs, which I found very disturbing.["]

And worse:

In a bombshell sworn declaration, ex-Bond Girl Richards says she flat-out asked Sheen, 40, if he had anything to do with sex star Chloe Jones' death — and he didn't deny it.

"He said that he had 'no comment,'" Richards states in her papers. "This scared me. [Sheen] threatened me again 'that if I do not agree with his request for joint custody, that I would never make it to court.'"[...]

Sheen, who has been ordered to stay at least 300 feet away from Richards and their daughters, has denied all the actress' allegations, calling them a "smear campaign." Beyond that, Sheen's rep said they wouldn't address these allegations specifically.

And now back to your regularly scheduled programming, a Spin City rerun: